Re: The Lima Bean

[Blaine Anderson]

Blaine waited for Sam to finish off their confession, hoping that his ex would choose to make it as quick as possible. Really, it wasn’t all that awful. Most people had ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, but…Blaine could easily see how Kurt would assume the worst, especially with how nervous Sam was behaving. Blaine couldn’t blame him, though. It wasn’t easy coming out, and this was almost like putting Sam on the spot and Blaine didn’t like it at all. But he also didn’t like keeping his past a secret from Kurt, so really there was no way he could win.

He felt someone’s foot moving against his calf, and side-glanced over at Kurt. His leg wasn’t moving. Welp. It definitely wasn’t Stacie or Stevie. Their legs were too short. Blaine’s face turned red, and he quickly brought his coffee up to his lips to take a nice, long sip, casually glancing over at some of the other customers to hide his embarrassment from everyone else. Maybe they wouldn’t notice. Sam probably thought he was tapping at the pole holding up the table they were sitting at, and had no idea that he was actually putting Blaine in one of the most awkward positions of his life.

It wasn’t until he heard a loud crash that he turned back to see that Sam had fallen. Oh, God. As if this night couldn’t get any more uncomfortable. He grimaced as he saw his friend on the floor, and cast a quick apologetic look at Kurt before getting up out of his chair and stepping over to Sam, offering out his hand to help up his friend. This night was comedy sitcom material, and Blaine was just waiting for someone to spill their drink all over themselves or something.

He pulled Sam up to his feet, grateful that he made up in his arm strength while his height lacked quite a bit. Once Sam was up at eye level—Well, a bit above eye level with him, Blaine offered a small smile and mouthed the single word ‘courage,’ before he released Sam’s hand and moved to sit back down next to his boyfriend.

As awkward as all of this was, a large part of him felt incredibly guilty for putting Kurt through all of this, seeing as he was the only one who still had no idea what was going on. He glanced over at his boyfriend, then smiled as he gently pushed his coffee cup over to Kurt. “Here,” he offered quietly, remembering that Kurt had never ordered himself a drink. Coffee always helped Blaine relax; hopefully it’d do the same for Kurt. “So…” He licked his lips. “Sam, did you want to say something?” he asked, making it sound casual enough for the setting, but giving Sam a small concerned look to show that he would help him out if he wasn’t ready to come clean on his own.

[Kurt Hummel]

Kurt pushed the coffee cup back in front of Blaine. His throat felt way too tight to even think of trying to swallow the bitter liquid. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sam. He knew at any other time he would have been quick to jump to Sam's aide and to make sure he was okay. But he was pretty sure he knew why Sam was so nervous.

Kurt's eyes flicked toward Sam's young siblings. Obviously they must know, since Sam was supposedly about to make the big reveal. They were probably here so that he wouldn't create a big scene. Not that he would anyway. That was just not his style...at least not when he was on the verge of bursting into tears. Later, when he could nurse his broken heart he'd be able to voice exactly what he thought about their betrayal, but now, he just wanted to get it over with and get out with his dignity at least mostly intact.

"You don't have to say it," he told Sam, his voice eerily calm. "I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say. And I wouldn't want to make you..." his voice dropped to a barely audible volume, "out yourself to anyone else who happens to be listening. What happens at the Lima Bean doesn't tend to stay at the Lima Bean." He sucked in a deep breath. "Thank you for being honest with me," he added tightly. He looked to Blaine, wishing that he'd managed to be on the outside of the booth, rather than how he was now trapped. "Now, if you'd please let me out?" he asked, only barely able to keep his voice from cracking.

[Sammy Evans]

Sam felt a numbness spread throughout his entire body so he happened to be particularly grateful for Blaine for having his back. He allowed him to yank him up on to his feet. Sam was still shaking terribly and he was lacking in balance but never the less- he was up from the ground. He then heard Blaine mouth him a word which instantly had him beaming. Courage, the word echoed constantly in his mind as Sam composed every ounce of dignity and strength he had left. He silently thanked Blaine by bowing his head and giving him a brief pat on his back before the warbler returned to his former seat.

After exhaling one last breath, Sam had officially formed everything he had planned to say to Kurt. If only he had the chance...he stood there feeling dumbfounded as Kurt claimed he was already well aware of what Sam was to reveal and then excused himself. It instantaneously occurred to Sam what Kurt hadn't mean't- judging by the evidently heart-broken expression shadowed across his face and the way he struggled to refrain from shedding a single tear. It was enough to shatter Sam's heart and cause an instant pang of sheer guilt. "That's not what I meant.."

As he witnessed Kurt turn to leave, Sam instantly panicked. "Kurt! Wait!" he pleaded. He couldn't of helped but to feel utterly foolish of how melodramatic that had sounded. The night which once could have been considered as sitcom, comedic material was now becoming one of those sappy soap operas. In that case, Sam easily would have snagged the Emmy for most dramatic performance. He had only yelped in such a fashion because he was in the mist of sheer peril. He hadn't even noticed that his voice had increased in such a volume until he felt a swarm of eyes burn the back of his neck. Clearly he had been sparking quite a bit of interest- the last thing he desired since he was already struggling immensely with coming out to one person. Lima was a small town- meaning that rumors and secrets spread like wild fire. For all he knew, a Representative of the Mock-Breaker was among them and had been jotting down the whole affair in their journalist note-book.

So instead of drawing any more attention, Sam slumped back into his seat and gestured Kurt to do the same. He whipped his head around to scan the room- identifying anyone who seemed to be meddling into their confidential conversation. He flashed (what he considered) a vicious glare at them and leaned in while lowering his voice to a more hushed tone. Stacie and Stevie, whom probably thought that this was some time of group huddle, peered in too.

Sam scratched the back of his neck in frustration. "How about I write it on a napkin?" He cleverly suggested, knowing that his siblings reading skills were beneficially undeveloped. With nothing more to lose, Sam drew out a spare Toy Story pen from his back pocket and began scribbling on the delicate piece of paper. The legibility of his printing was already atrocious- it didn't help his cause that he had been jotting on a napkin. Yet he anticipated that it valid meaning was still in tact....It read:

Hi Kurt.
I feel really stupid for writing this on a napkin.
I probably should of just texted this to you...but this seems much more meaningful...somehow.
Anyways, here I go....
I used to attend Dalton Academy with Blaine- that's the all-boys boarding school that I used to go to. Obviously, you know that because y'know...you go there and stuff, right? And you wouldn't go there....if you weren't a boy and you are a boy...so yeah. Um, k...anyways...
I was straight at Dalton...or so I thought I was. I mean, I played football and had a secret stash of Playgirl magazines under my bed so that counts right- wrong? Okay...I am running out of napkin so I think I should just cut to the chase.
So here's the chase...the chase...that I'm cutting to-
I fell for Blaine. I don't know why or how but I guess....it just kind of happened. We saw each other for a while. Everyone at Dalton accepted us and knew we were exclusive. But I never told my parents...in fact- I lied to them and claimed I had a girlfriend. They knew about Blaine, they knew we were friends and stuff. So they let him stay at our place for Thanksgiving weekend. So after dinner...we went up to his room and well, um I don't want to get into the nitty gritty details but things lead to another and...shit. I need another napkin. Hold one on sec.

So yeah, then my parents walked in on us. Saying that they weren't fond of it would be the understatement of the century. They were devastated and Blaine took the cue to flee home. They totally shunned me after that night and I knew I needed to make it up to them. So....I broke things off with Blaine (without a proper explanation) and then ran off to Mckinley to rehabilitate my reputation and make my parents proud. But my secret began to slip and it was tougher to hide my past everyday- I knew eventually it was going to come back to haunt me. So despite what happened a few weeks back, Blaine and I had decided to clear things up between us and now I guess you can say we're friends. Friends...best friends even and THAT- is all we'll ever be.

Okay, last napkin....Kurt.....Blaine loves you. He really, really, really loves you. I know it by the way he looks at you and the way he talked about you and I know for a fact- you love him too. So please, don't blame him for all this. Please, I beg you. He was only keeping this from you because he didn't want to hurt you (that's how much he loves you) and he was being a good friend by not outing me. You two are perfect for each other, you're like totally like Neytiri and Jake Sully- except you're not blue and you don't have tails (also you're both human and male) BUT POINT IS- you're soul mates. SOUL MATES and I know that you wouldn't hurt Blaine like the way I did. You wouldn't let that happen.

So yeah....best luck to you. And if you need anything like some snacks, condoms..I'm here for you. Love ya guys! Sorry I couldn't resit.

When he was finally done, Sam pushed the napkin to Kurt and waited intently as he read it.

[Blaine Anderson]

Blaine watched the expression on his boyfriend’s face change, the sad look in his eyes being enough to break Blaine’s heart. He knew he had messed up. He hadn’t been honest, and if it ended up losing him the best thing that had ever happened to him then he’d never forgive himself. His face fell as Kurt turned to him, asking him to let him out so he could leave. Before Blaine could reach out to ask Kurt to stop, Sam called out for Kurt to wait and Blaine turned to face his friend as he remained seated in the booth. If Kurt would just let Sam explain…then maybe things would be alright. If Sam explained and Kurt wanted to leave, then Blaine wouldn’t stop him.

He waited patiently as Sam scribbled on the napkin. Sam had never really been one to think inside the box, so Blaine wasn’t too surprised by his idea. He kept his hands folded in his lap, not touching his coffee as he kept casting quick side glances over at his boyfriend. All he needed was for Kurt to read the note. After that, he wouldn’t have much control over what Kurt did. If Kurt wanted to leave, then Blaine just wanted him to be happy.

His eyes watched as Sam pushed the napkin across the table, and he skimmed his eyes over the quickly written note before he forced himself to focus his attention on his coffee cup. He had made enough mistakes so far. The least he could do was give Kurt his space while he read whatever was written in the note for him. He glanced at the note one last time, then pushed away his curiosity as he brought his eyes up to Kurt’s face. He bit nervously at his lips, mentally pleading that Kurt would at least read the note before making any final decisions.

[Kurt Hummel]

Kurt fought to remain calm when Sam called out for him to wait. He didn't have much of a choice; Blaine wasn't yet budging to let him out of the booth. He supposed he could probably escape over the back of the booth's chair, or under the table, but that pretty much ensured that he would lose every last bit of dignity. So he slumped unhappily into his seat, pressing his body against the wall rather than letting any part of him settle against Blaine. He could feel the lump in his throat thickening and knew his eyes were welling with tears, though he continued blinking quickly, doing his best not to let a single one escape.

Why were they doing this to him? He knew that they weren't really trying to hurt him. There just wasn't any truly nice way to break up with someone, or to tell a friend that you're dating the guy he's in love with. But seriously, he got it. And all he wanted was to go home and cry in peace.

Rather than let himself cry, he tried focusing on his anger. They might not mean to hurt him, but they had. Deeply. He could understand how they each found the other attractive and all, but...why did Blaine have to ask him out if he knew he was in love with Sam? Had that just been a game? Had that been...he flushed as he realized what it probably was. Blaine had asked him to be his boyfriend in front of Sam. It hadn't been a game, exactly...it had been a calculated move to make Sam jealous!

He knew that a lot of people only saw him as being aloof, sometimes rather icy...and he usually did his best to make people think he was. But he wasn't really. Truth be told, he was kind of a complete emotional wreck. He'd thought that Blaine at least knew that. Sam hadn't seen him at his most vulnerable, but Blaine...he had.

He pressed himself further against the wall, scowling as he watched Sam writing what appeared to be a novel on the napkins.

He sighed as the note was finally thrust in his direction.

For a few moments he considered refusing to read it. Maybe then they'd give up and go away.

Hi Kurt.
I feel really stupid for writing this on a napkin.

As you should, Samual Evans.

I probably should of just texted this to you...but this seems much more meaningful...somehow.
Anyways, here I go....
I used to attend Dalton Academy with Blaine- that's the all-boys boarding school that I used to go to. Obviously, you know that because y'know...you go there and stuff, right? And you wouldn't go there....if you weren't a boy and you are a boy...so yeah. Um, k...anyways...
I was straight at Dalton...or so I thought I was. I mean, I played football and had a secret stash of Playgirl magazines under my bed so that counts right- wrong? Okay...I am running out of napkin so I think I should just cut to the chase.
So here's the chase...the chase...that I'm cutting to-
I fell for Blaine.

Kurt felt like ripping the rest of the note up. He didn't want to read this. Of course Sam fell for Blaine. What was there not to fall for? He reached up to wipe his eyes as he felt one of the tears he was trying so hard not to release roll down his cheek. Damn it. He clenched his jaw, silently fuming that he was letting them get to him like this. He glanced toward Blaine, but noted that it didn't look as though the other boy had any intention of moving yet. So he may as well get the rest of the note over with.

I don't know why or how but I guess....it just kind of happened. We saw each other for a while. Everyone at Dalton accepted us and knew we were exclusive. But I never told my parents...in fact- I lied to them and claimed I had a girlfriend. They knew about Blaine, they knew we were friends and stuff. So they let him stay at our place for Thanksgiving weekend. So after dinner...we went up to his room and well, um I don't want to get into the nitty gritty details but things lead to another and...shit. I need another napkin. Hold one on sec.

For a few moments he actually caught himself feeling sympathy for Sam. He knew what it was like to fear coming out to family. But then Sam started talking about going up to Blaine's room and...and...nitty gritty details? Things leading to other things.

He couldn't help it this time. No amount of blinking was going to keep his tears in check. He couldn't read anymore.

"I...want to leave. Right now. Please. Let me out," his voice trembled as he quietly asked Blaine, unable to look at either of them.

[Blaine Anderson]

Blaine’s face fell as soon as Kurt stopped reading, a confused expression crossing his features as his boyfriend asked to let him out. What in the world had Sam written on the note? Regretting not reading the napkin when he had the chance, Blaine glanced over at Sam, then to the napkin, then finally back to Kurt, his hazel eyes glistened with heartache at the thought of how much unnecessary pain he had put Kurt through.

“Kurt,” he pleaded quietly, already sounding defeated as he slowly slid back in the booth, preparing himself to move if Kurt really wanted to leave…or just in case Kurt pushed him because Blaine had never really seen him look as angry as he had when he was reading Sam’s note. “Please don’t go. Please.” He knew he had no right to ask Kurt to stay after lying to him about Sam, but he loved Kurt more than anything and wasn’t prepared to just let him walk out of his life without trying to stop him first. He had no idea what Sam had explained on the napkin, but it killed Blaine that his stupid dishonest was going to cost him the greatest relationship he ever had. “I love you.”

Part of him wanted to reach out and touch Kurt, but he was too scared of being pushed away. “I’m sorry I never told you that Sam and I dated before. I know I should have but…I wanted to pretend it never happened, and when I saw Sam that night I panicked and acted like I had no clue who he was, and that was stupid, I know. I just…” He glanced over at Sam, feeling bad for what he was about to say, though he knew Sam was aware that he had forgiven him for everything. “I didn’t want to remember how Sam hurt me, and I tried to run away from what we had. But…I realized that you and Sam are friends and that it was selfish of me to mess that up. You’re…everything to me, and I knew it was important for me to try to fix things with Sam. So I talked to him…tonight, and we worked things out. I told him that I loved you…and I asked him if we could tell him about us because I knew he wasn’t ready to out himself to anyone but me yet.”

He looked down at the napkin, though the words were too blurry to read as his eyes glistened with tears that he didn’t let fall. “I’m sorry for lying to you, Kurt.” He glanced up through his eyelashes, hating himself for what he had done to Kurt. “I don’t want to lose you.”

[Kurt Hummel]

[OOC: Sorry I'm taking so long between posts lately, guys. My home internet has been excessively flakey, but (in theory) it's been fixed again...so I should be back more. I hope. I miss you guys!]

Kurt felt a small amount of relief as he heard Blaine shifting in the seat, presumably preparing to let him out of the booth. He tensed again, though, as he heard Blaine quietly calling his name. He chanced a peek over at the other boy as he heard Blaine’s plea for him not to leave. Why was he doing this?

Kurt grew even more confused when Blaine declared his love. For a few moments he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t understand what was going on. His mind raced, coming up with a few different scenarios of what Blaine could possibly be thinking. None of them really fit with what he knew of Blaine--with what he thought he knew of Blaine anyway. Or what he knew of Sam. But then none of this did. Neither of them struck Kurt as guys who would intentionally hurt him; and he knew he wasn’t always the best at reading “signs” but Blaine had really seemed to like him, and sounded sincere. And Sam was his friend…and…his eyes widened a little bit as a new theory popped into his head. They might not be trying to let him down easily; they might be…good lord. No. Absolutely no way was he going to get drawn into some weird three-way relationship with--
His eyes were wide as he looked back toward Blaine, too flabbergasted to even respond…which turned out to probably be a really good thing, he decided as he heard Blaine describing how Sam had hurt him. Okay, so maybe this wasn’t that conversation, either. He could feel his face burning with embarrassment and he silently thanked himself for not blurting out his brief suspicion. Perhaps he really should finish reading Sam’s note…

He felt lumps growing both in his throat and in the pit of his stomach as he continued listening to Blaine and began to realize the colossal errors he may have made in his rush to judgment of the whole situation.

In fact, as Blaine finished speaking, Kurt realized just how huge a mistake he'd made. Oh. God. For a few moments he wasn't sure what to do. What could he possibly say? Shame flooded him as he realized how much he'd messed up this whole scene. He'd almost lost Blaine. And...he gaped a little bit as he looked across the table to Sam. He felt sick.

"I..." He swallowed thickly, still not sure what he could possibly say to make this up to Sam. So instead he started with Blaine. Except he didn't know what to say to Blaine, either. What he'd thought...he should have known better! Damn his insecurities! His heart clenched as he saw how glittery Blaine's eyes were. He had to make that stop. He glanced apologetically across the table to Sam before he launched himself practically into Blaine's lap, throwing his arms around the other boy as he pressed his lips against Blaine's, kissing with quiet desperation. He eased his body so that he had one knee on each side of Blaine's thighs. His back was pressing awkwardly into the table, but he didn't care.

"I'm sorry," he choked out when he drew back. "I...I thought...youwereleavingmeforSam." He felt the shame swirling in his stomach. His eyes were still wet with tears, but a smile spread across his face. "You haven't lost me. I...I'm just so sorry I don't know why I...it's just you're so...perfect, and I'm...me. And Sam's so...Sam."

He closed his eyes for a moment as he gathered the courage to look across the table. Staying completely in Blaine's personal space, he looked back to Sam. "I...I am so sorry, Sam," he quietly apologized. "I know that must have been so hard to tell me," he empathized, deciding not to reiterate that he'd known since the very first time he'd seen Sam that he wasn't entirely straight. "I'm so sorry that I made it even worse. I just...I panicked. I swear it's okay and...if you're not too mad at me, I...really want to be friends and be there for you and...I'm just so sorry I made such a mess of this."

[Blaine Anderson]

[FJSJNGKDJNJGKNDJ WELCOME BACK! I've missed you too! <3 ]

There was really nothing Blaine could do other than wait, and his gaze never left Kurt’s face as he sat in the booth wondering what Kurt would do or say. He knew he’d been wrong to lie, but it would kill him to lose Kurt and if he knew he had hurt the most important person in his life then he’d never forgive himself for it.

Without much warning, Kurt was suddenly in Blaine’s lap, kissing him with a newfound sense of urgency as if Sam and his siblings weren’t sitting across from them on the other side of the table. Though, to be honest, Blaine completely forget about everyone as well as he kissed Kurt back with just as much desperation, his hands cupping his boyfriend’s face as if Kurt would disappear if Blaine let go of him.

Blaine’s eyes found Kurt’s as the other boy pulled away, and he shook his head as he leaned in to press his forehead against Kurt’s, not needing Sam to hear what he had to say. “Never,” he promised, already knowing that he wanted to spend forever with Kurt. “You’re perfect,” he whispered sincerely. “Sam’s amazing, and I really do care about him,” he admitted. “But you…you’re beautiful, and wonderful, and I am too in love with you for my own good.”

“And you don’t have to apologize. I should have been more honest with you from the beginning. You deserve better than that, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give you that before.” Kurt was still in his lap, but Blaine wasn’t really complaining. “I promise I’ll be completely honest with you from now on.”

[Kurt Hummel]

Kurt's heart soared as Blaine once again assured his love. "I love you, too," he whispered back as he leaned in to place another kiss. After a few moments, he reluctantly slid back off of Blaine's lap to sit on the bench, though this time he sat much closer, letting his leg curl around Blaine's under the table. He smiled bashfully at the three sitting across the table. He placed his left hand on top of Blaine's. "It's okay," he assured. "It...really wasn't your secret to tell." He reached his right hand across the table to rest it lightly over Sam's. "I don't believe in...telling other people's secrets," he added for Sam's benefit.

He felt his stomach twist guiltily as he thought about the secrets he was keeping. Especially when Blaine assured that from then on he'd be completely honest. He wished he could make the same vow, but...well, it's not like he was lying. He just...wasn't telling everything. And really, it was for Blaine's own good. And Dad's.

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